There’s no such thing as a free movie

November 16, 2007 | Filed Under Point of View 

I was visiting my cousins in Pune. My mama knows people around there. All he needed to do was make a call to someone and we miraculously had the best seats for Sawaariya in a houseful theater. I saw it last Saturday and hadn’t heard about the movie from anyone before that. So I went with an open mind. Praise God for that.

I had not seen Mr. Bhansali’s earlier movie Black. I could not overcome the trauma of Devdas - the multicolored vomit, that I had seen a few years back (by the same director). His best movie so far - Khamoshi, I remember Bhansali calling the movie a mistake. I wondered why. Not anymore though. I think Mr. Bhansali has forgotten the meaning of good cinema and has gradually degenerated as a director. Saawariya is not as in your face - traumatic - as Devdas is.

In fact it merges with the surroundings. You begin to observe the people around you. The girl sitting in the next row changing seats once in a while. A child wailing occasionally. Sometimes little children sense bad cinema. There is also the odd girl giggling around somewhere, probably someone is tickling her. Then someone is talking on the phone. On most other occasions this would be looked down on but there were people straining their ears to hear the interesting conversation. There is something happening on the screen, but as they say the show must go on.

So when the movie ended, I remembered how the heroine feels embarassed when her thigh is exposed. How old worldly? But yet there is something modern about it. I wonder what?

Rani is simply amazing. She has shown emotions that she is not capable of. She is a whore who doesn’t want to do “it” with the man she is in love with. What a definition of love? Perfect for the society we live in. She is extremely irritating, and has got into the skin of bhansali’s character. Zohra Sehgal is sweet. I remember seeing a play of hers and can’t say anything bad about her. Thankfully she does not venture out of the house and Bhansali makes her cry for some stupid emotional reasoning. Salman must be a nice man to play parts in such a movie. He has come a long way since killing black bucks and over running sleeping people. If he stands in an election, I may consider voting for him.

The woman - Sonam Kapoor - is delicious. Sweet and squeaky like a little white rat you would want to keep in a cage. The boy is a half baked potato. He almost got naked and when I turned my head out of fear a girl sitting behind giggled, looking at me.

Dostoevsky shivered in his grave.

I heard Bhansali saying that he won’t watch Om Shanti Om because he doesn’t like those kind of movies. I really think he should see a therapist. There must be so much trauma in his life watching all his movies over and over again. No one must be making a movie that he must like. I feel like giving him a hug.

Well the movie was free for me, because my cousins paid for it. And I thought, well the movie didn’t affect my life so much. Until someone pointed out that I had lost 2.5 hrs of my life. Ah well sometimes I think of world peace and all this lost time will definitely add up.

Go see Saawariya so that Bhansali can make another movie. My perverted mind highly recommends it.

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